Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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