Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
