Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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