god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you guys were way drunker than both of me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
