Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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