Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize