If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
