I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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