i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
