Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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