summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
