i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
