Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize