I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
