I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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