they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
