Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
