I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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