I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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