she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
