You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
