I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
