okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
