I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
