it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
