She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
