im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
