plz talk dirty to me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
