Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
