the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
