thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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