I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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