Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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