There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
