The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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