Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
