it hurts more in the daytime
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize