I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize