Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
