that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Vodka?
Forever.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
