Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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