32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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