Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
