That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
