wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
