Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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