sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
