dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize