so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
