...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize