apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
