There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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