I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
