Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize