I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i think i have herpe
just one?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize