She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
