Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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