I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
